Harry is shrunken so needs somewere to go to stay safe hwere better then in athrur wealsey's underware. One of the most popular male on male couples in the Harry Potter fandom are Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (WolfStar). Harry Potter once speculated that there was "something going on" romantically between Filch and Irma Pince, the equally ancient and irascible Hogwarts librarian. Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. Once there, Slughorn said that he had not issued him an invitation. [2] However, Filch did always plead to Dumbledore to permit him to use corporeal punishments on the students, a request that was never granted, which became a primary reason why Filch preferred Umbridge as head of the school. The only thing that is known is that he respected many of them, and did what they say without question. [72], On 17 March, Filch did his usual prodding act with the Secrecy Sensor as some of the sixth years departed the school for an Apparition lesson at Hogsmeade. Filch was then joined by Severus Snape when the two got hold of Harry's egg and the Marauder's Map. Write as much as you can. [73], Filch had been looking for someone to clear out his old punishment files, and when Severus Snape put Harry Potter in detention for hurting Draco Malfoy, he put Harry to work by making him copying out the misdeeds and punishments afresh and making sure that they were in alphabetical order without the aid of magic. Viewed 411 times . [33], On Christmas, Albus Dumbledore gave Harry Potter his father's Invisibility Cloak. However, when called on to oversee the evacuation of the majority of the students before the Battle of Hogwarts, Filch led the children to safety without hesitation. With the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-Three, which appointed Dolores Umbridge to the post of High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, the Ministry effectively started its interference at the school. Velhomaailmassa on monia erikoisia perinteit, jotkut niist ovat Harrylle iloisia ylltyksi. The detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a different way, and is spent with less than school appropriate actions. He whimpered as he hardened even more. Fred and George test out a new line of products, and things get sexy. [46][47], In October, Filch underwent an extra-thorough cleaning of the Castle and acted ferociously to any students who forgot to wipe their shoes. If you like a good threesome,A Nightly Strollby TigerLily8806 might be more your speed. As Dolores Umbridge was a sadist who enjoyed torturing students, Filch could relate to her views on a number of levels. It'll be worse for you if you do.Filch's sadistic enjoyment when punishing students. [13], During the Start-of-Term Feast in the evening of 1 September, Filch stood by the double doors leading to the Great Hall as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore gave his start-of-term notices. He hated it. I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? Trust Meby RZZMG puts Hermione and Neville Longbottom together. Filch, later, brought the jewel-encrusted casket with the Goblet of Fire inside. This is Aaron Taylor-Johnson from Nowhere Boy. Dont forget to leave a comment about your favorite Harry Potter pairing or erotic fanfic. [57] Filch also assisted Umbridge when she had Trelawney sacked, something he most likely took pleasure in, as it caused Trelawney great stress and reduced her to tears. [70], Harry Potter and the Order of the PhoenixArgus Filch takes Harry Potter to Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, Although Filch disliked most students, Harry Potter was one of those he disliked most. [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. [70], After Harry Potter's discovery of the Half-Blood Prince's copy of Advanced Potion-Making, he learnt several new spells such as Langlock, a jinx that glued the victim's tongue to the roof of the mouth. Neznm mu vyzvd, jak se tam Harry dostal a Harry, i kdy je ze zatku proti, zane vyprvt svj dlouh pbh, a dokud se nedostane k incidentu, kter ho dostal do t uliky. P.S. [6] Hermione Granger later speculated that this was Umbridge's doing, as she probably needed an excuse to read Harry's post. [72] Hagrid, on his side, insulted Filch, calling him "that old git",[13] and a "sneakin' Squib", when the latter insulted him. [26], Later in the school year, Filch was speaking to Snape and Madam Pince in the Potions Classroom when he was introduced to Brazilian exchange student Alanza Alves by Jacob's sibling. [12] Filch waged a constant war against the students and Peeves, the school's resident poltergeist. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage, Rape/Non-Con, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (3), Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, wait no there really isn't smut wth did I just write, I think that from being bad at prose I've gone straight to fucking being weird, Fluff will probably creep in because it always does, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, except 28 yr olds shouldn't be crushing on 12 yr olds lmao, Juciest Lucius and his magnificent Staff, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Gilderoy Lockhart, Hermione Granger and her parents (mentioned), Arthurs Semen has its own name and is somewhat sentient against thots, lucius Malfoy has a magnificent extendable arse. [2] It can be assumed that Filch was grateful after Mrs Norris was cured. [82] The battle recommenced shortly afterwards, and it all ended when Lord Voldemort was finally defeated and killed by Harry Potter in the Great Hall. He was going to be permitted to bring back the "old punishments" and give students whippings, and she asked the Minister for Magic to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves, the resident Poltergeist. [54] He was also probably the one to affix the notices with the Decree on the noticeboards of the Common Rooms. How have I made myself sad writing a crack fic? After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. [2] Filch also had a difficulty in recognising potions, due to his lack of magical knowledge as he did not notice the love potions disguised as perfumes and cough potions by the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,[70] nor did he notice the poisoned mead sent in by Madam Rosmerta (while under the Imperius Curse cast by Draco Malfoy), showing he was not particularly observant despite his obsessive personality. [13] He disliked the students and constantly hassled them over the littlest infraction and took delight in the doling out of detention-worthy write-ups. Or even just one page. [38] His cat was cured via the administration of Professor Sprouts Mandrake Restorative Draught, brewed with Professor Sprout's Mandrakes. The background story will basically follow the books, and won't bother restating everything that happens. Lily and James were killed when Harry was three and Alison was just a couple months old Becomes a Draco Malfoy love story later on I d. harrypottersister siriusblack voldemort +17 more # 2 Stubborn Attraction 2 ~H.P by Eve ~ 3.3M 126K 114 [70] Unbeknownst to Harry, Filch and Pince had indeed shared a romantic relationship starting in 1989, when the two attended the Valentine's Day Ball together. In the night of 21 January, 1995, Filch almost caught Harry Potter while he was on his way back to Gryffindor Tower after having been in the Prefects' bathroom trying to solve the golden egg riddle for the Triwizard Tournament. I'll have you, Peeves, I'll have you, you'll and what is this? [14], Filch usually wore a brown coat,[45] although on special occasions he would wear a mouldy-looking tailcoat[45] or an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs. [2], Haven't you been complaining about Peeves for a quarter of a century?Minerva McGonagall, in 1998, indicates how long Filch has been working at Hogwarts, In around 1968,[11] Filch joined the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,[9] succeeding Apollyon Pringle as Caretaker. In July, Argus Filch attended Dumbledore's funeral in an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs, paying his respects for the man who, despite their opposing views on student punishment, gave him employment as a Squib. Delegations of students from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and Durmstrang Institute came to Hogwarts in order to watch the Tournament and sign up to be chosen as one of the champions. Ronald Weasley demanded to know what did it matter if the students were smuggling Dark objects out of the premises, and his cheek earned him a few jabs with the Sensor. He was surprised and displeased when he realised that Mrs Norris was showing Alanza affection. This is an implied slash, don't like, don't read! There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. Out of the Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug. [46], That school year, the Triwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts. I cant write that well so dont expect anything amazing!! When Ginny finds a discarded recipe from the twin's fledgling business, she realizes she and Harry can use it to get rid of his enemies - and get some pleasure out of it in return. Years later, he's determined to make Harry more than a friend. [29], During the 19901991 school year, Filch was tricked into giving Madam Pince Hiccough Sweets, causing her to leave the library's Restricted Section unattended. Under Umbridge, Filch walked around in an extremely good mood. On 1 August 1997, the Ministry of Magic was taken over by Lord Voldemort's Death Eaters. Please consider turning it on! Lily however loved Harry. Despite his magical parentage, Filch was a Squib, meaning he could not perform magic. Dont worry, however. InAs I Walk From My Machine by tamlane, Percy moves on to Astoria Greengrass after, on behalf on the Ministry of Magic, he puts out an ad asking for subjects to test experimental sex magic and Astoria answers the call. [35] Filch was obsessed with keeping the Castle neat and tidy, and was infuriated when students made a mess with potion ingredients, or forgot to wipe their feet. Filch also appeared to respect Headmaster Albus Dumbledore very much. [24], During this school year, he also caught Jacob's sibling with Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington in the Potions Classroom. Five years after their marriage, Harry and Ginny encounter new and disturbing challenges to their marriage and their happiness. [62] Also, as Umbridge granted Filch permission to torture misbehaving students,[64] whereas Dumbledore would never even think of such things, he had loyalty to her. [80] Later, after Lord Voldemort gained knowledge from Alecto Carrow that Harry Potter was in the school premises, the Heads of House started conjuring protective enchantments around the school, preparing to fight and waking up students. In it, Harry Potter is taking (you guessed it) a nightly stroll when he finds his girlfriend Ginny and his enemy Draco in a compromising position. The process took longer than normal as Filch triple-checked everybody with his Secrecy Sensor. Filch first demanded they confess to having set off a Dungbomb in the Gryffindor common room, given their habit of trouble (which was in fact the work of Fred and George Weasley). Albus always wanted Teddy, but never thought he would be able to have him. Harry, Miles, and Rue haven't been actual siblings since their first year, afterwards they completely separated to their own Houses and worlds: Harry; a Gryffindor, Rue; a Hufflepuff, and Miles: a Ravenclaw. Develop your characters. Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. As much as I prefer my canon couples, non-canon erotica is where the Harry Potter fandom really starts having fun. [13], On 12 September, Draco Malfoy challenged Harry Potter to a duel in the Trophy Room at midnight. Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. Munga. He was aided by the Inquisitorial Squad, but odd things like antlers sprouting from their heads kept happening to its members. Harry Potter Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. He has no shame. [13] Filch also did not care for Hagrid as a professor and treated him as if he were inferior, possibly because he was half-giant. A Question of Valueby Inell pairs Hermione with Percy Weasley on the Quidditch Pitch. Hiding, are you? [44], So! If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. Keep an eye on your inbox. [9] Filch never ceased his futile efforts to get Peeves expelled from the castle, and Peeves never stopped taunting Filch. [61] The Ministry passed the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight overnight, making Dolores Umbridge Headmistress of Hogwarts.[62]. On the former's first afternoon as Headmistress, Fred and George Weasley set off an enormous crate of Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs which spread all over the school. [37] Filch was also present when in a corridor with all the other staff when a new message from the Heir of Slytherin appeared on the wall stating that Ginny had been taken into the chamber and that her skeleton will lie there forever. Filch also did not suspect anything that was from Rosmerta, another factor that would have permitted the necklace and poisoned mead to enter the castle as well as a flaw that Draco attempted to take advantage of. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. [43] Filch searched both the dungeons,[42] the Astronomy Tower and the Owlery,[43] but found no sign of him. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. In this extremely strange erotic fanfic, Hogwarts is lonely and the giant squid is there to fill those halls. Were giving away a stack of our 20 favorite books of the year. The twins are confused and horny. [54] Umbridge was a sadistic woman who, like Filch, enjoyed torturing and punishing students. Harry cast this jinx twice, to general applause, on an unsuspecting Argus Filch. Harry Potter and his sister Alison by Melanie Anderson 663K 13K 45 What if Harry had a little sister? A mysterious little boy named Harry moves in next door to Draco Malfoy, and he's determined to make him his friend and learn all of his secrets. Wake up the whole castle, will you? The first individual to be attacked was Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, whom he had a very close relationship with. [45], After Sirius Black's second break-in in the evening of 5 February, Filch bustled around the corridors boarding up everything from tiny cracks in the walls to mouse holes. With so many compelling characters in the Potterverse, its no surprise that non-canon erotica makes up the majority of the erotic Harry Potter fanfic out there. After he admits his feelings, things start heating up. Please bear in mind that this list could hardly be comprehensive because there are so many fantastic pairings and stories to choose from, and feel free to share your own favorites in the comments. [14] Then, he believed that Harry was the one who petrified Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, as he was one of the few people who knew he was a Squib. Check outThings I Learned in Schoolby janed. This isn't going to be everybody's cup of tea. The Second Wizarding War began. At the end of the year, Filch attended the End-of-Term Feast, reunited with his cat. When he got to the Owlery, he found Harry Potter (who had just sent a letter for Sirius Black) and Cho Chang (who was sending her mother a parcel for her birthday). flag All Votes Add Books To This List Previous 1 2 3 4 Next The strange gifts he has, and isn't going to question, should help in that regard. Highlights from the author include Anxious, a 31-chapter epic exploration of Ron and Hermiones very adult relationship, and Midnight, a sexy Deathly Hallows-era one shot. Egg? As Severus Snape was a very strict and somewhat cruel teacher, Filch respected that and acted a loyal subordinate to him. [40], On 1 September, 1993, Filch attended the Start-of-Term Feast, and stood in the raised platform by the High Table while the school choir and orchestra led a presentation of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Harry Potter has the weight of the world on his shoulders. 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